


Complicated

by dvs



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-04
Updated: 2010-02-04
Packaged: 2017-10-07 00:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvs/pseuds/dvs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney is sour. John is fed up. Things get complicated</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complicated

**Author's Note:**

> Spoils _Sanctuary + Before I Sleep_ | [Tafkar](http://tafkar.net/), thank you so much for your continuing constructive criticism and feedback throughout. | [Carolyn Claire](http://www.geocities.com/cc_carolynclaire/), thanks for all the in depth feedback you gave me, the fic is much funnier and sillier as a result. | [Leah](http://www.geocities.com/coffeeslash/leah/index.html), thanks for the detailed beta :)

"Oh look, it's Atlantis's favorite metrosexual," Rodney remarked as the Major stopped in front of him in the corridor.

"Hey, Rodney," John said, biting his tongue. "Listen, I'm about to take the jumper to the mainland-"

"Have fun, Major. Try not to accidentally have sex with anyone while you're out there."

Rodney moved to go, but John blocked his path. "Actually, I was thinking that maybe you could come with me."

"I'm afraid I won't be _coming_ with you anywhere. Ever."

Clenching his jaw, John grabbed Rodney's arm and pulled him back as the other man tried to push past him. "I said I was sorry."

Blue eyes cast an icy glare at John's fingers and the hand was pulled back, held up in surrender.

"You say a lot of things," Rodney said flatly.

John felt his face warm with prickly heat. "Can we drop the wronged girlfriend act already?" he said crossly, frustration having bypassed any urge to be remorseful.

Rodney raised his eyebrows as if to think over John's suggestion. "No. Sorry."

"Why?" The question was almost a whine.

"Why? Let me tell you why. I spent a very long boring hour, listening to you prattling on about the drawbacks of getting involved with you."

"Boring?"

"I mean, oh my god, could you get more sanctimonious? _As the ranking military officer, I can't be thinking with my dick, Rawdney_," Rodney said with a dopey look and an overly emphatic, lazy drawl.

John scowled at the wall. "I don't talk like that."

"And what happens two days after that little talk? You sleep with the first woman that falls for your stupid hair."

"My hair is not stupid and I didn't sleep with her. We... shared."

"A rose by any other name still stinks the same, Major," Rodney said with a bored expression. "You know, if you end up getting some kind of ascended herpes, you've only got yourself to blame."

John stared, a little horrified. "You can get that? Ascended herpes?"

"I can only hope. I mean, what were you thinking? She could have turned out be some kind of crazy, drooling, tentacled, brain sucking alien."

John held back on the opinion that his friend obviously indulged in way too much science fiction. "But she wasn't. She was an Ancient. One of the good guys?"

"Good guys? Wake up and smell the galaxy, Han Solo. She was exiled by her _own_ kind. We've only got her word for the reason why. How the hell do you even begin to guess which ones are the good guys? No one is _all_ good. Well, with the exception of Spock, but that's because he was ruled by logic and not emotion. Unlike Kirk who slept with anything that had a pulse," Rodney said contemplatively.

"I think we're straying from the point..."

"Not if I point out the fact that you found a dry method of exchanging fluids with a non-corporeal being, which brings us back to Captain Kirk and his many encounters with amusing special effects that could act better than William Shatner." Rodney frowned as he finished his rant. "Oh great, now you're making me hate my show! Anyway, my point is, you, Kirk, same slutty mold," Rodney said cupping his hands to illustrate.

John narrowed his eyes at the cupped hands and then looked up with a scowl. "Is this about the other night?"

Rodney's hands fell to his sides and he stared. "Yes, it's about the other night. You've broken my poor little dainty heart and I've been crying and heaving my bosom over it ever since. It has nothing to do with fact that you gave me this whole spiel about how you couldn't compromise your responsibility for Atlantis and then did _exactly_ that. Couldn't you find a better way of repressing your sexuality? I'm sure someone's got a few issues of Playboy around here. You didn't have to go so out of your way to prove your straight streak. Everyone already pretty much believes you'd nail anything that walks."

John stared, mute for a moment, and then said flatly, "Well. This conversation went exactly how I planned it."

"I'm not an idiot, Major. I understand that it can't be easy in your line of work to be... who you are. But seriously, you were stupid."

John nodded, anger beginning to nudge at him. "Right, so this has nothing to do with you being jealous of Chaya."

Rodney snorted. "Oh, please. Woe is me that I missed out on a picnic at Inspiration Point. You owe me coffee and chocolates by the way; don't think I didn't notice they were missing."

John glared. "You're some piece of work. I'm apologizing to you here and you know what? I shouldn't have to. I liked someone and I..."

"Had non-corporeal sex with them, yes, I know," Rodney said with a nod.

John found himself trying to conjure up words to throw back. "So?" he cleverly retorted.

Rodney's brow went up inquisitively and John could tell the knife was about to be twisted some more. "So? For all you know, Chaya could have been the Ancients' version of that crazy woman from _Fatal Attraction_. Your little tryst could have delivered much more than an ascended STD."

John closed his eyes, gathering his senses, rebuilding his defenses and considering turning around and take a running jump over the nearest balcony. He looked back at his smug accuser. "I made a bad choice. No one was hurt. I am sorry that we ignored your concerns. Now, how about you let it go?" John's voice was eerily calm even to his own ears.

"No," Rodney said simply.

"No? Why?" John snapped.

Rodney shrugged. "I don't really feel the need to explain myself."

John scowled. "What the hell does that mean? I'm supposed to put up with this just because you _feel_ like it?"

"Yes, that's right."

"You know what, Chaya might not have been the bunny boiler you thought she was, but I'm beginning to have my doubts about you."

Rodney rolled his eyes and sighed. "Are we done yet? I have important things to do."

"Like being angry at me for no actual feasible reason?" John suggested.

Rodney straightened up, defensive. "I find it comes naturally, why waste a good thing?"

"Well, that's just fine, Rodney. You just carry on with that. You know what, you might want to kill some puppies and cancel Christmas too while you're at it."

"Whatever gets me through the day, Major," Rodney said with a small smile. "You have a nice time on the mainland. Try to avoid falling into any vaginas. I know how tough that can be."

Rodney turned around and John's hand went out to grab him, his fingers missing by an inch. So he stood in the corridor, watching Rodney's retreating back, his arm still outstretched, his fingers like a claw as his eyes narrowed and his whole body simmered with frustration.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, but it was long enough for simmering to give way to disappointment. He felt the muscles of his face relax, the anger ebbing away and his mouth falling into a defeated pout.

"Major Sheppard?" Teyla's calming voicing drifted over John.

John looked at Teyla through the corner of his eye, his body unmoving. He brought his hand down and turned to look at the bemused expression on her face. John smiled what he knew was his best smile. "Hi, Teyla."

Teyla gave a small tilted bow of her head. "Are you okay, Major?"

John nodded, still smiling. "Just great."

Teyla looked down the corridor, then nodded back at him and John could tell she didn't believe him.

John frowned at her. "Teyla, how would you like to go for a little ride?"

Teyla smiled. "I would love to accompany you."

John pointed at Teyla, his finger prodding the air playfully. "Great. I'll meet you in the jumper bay in ten minutes."

## 

*

"Okay, Ford, Teyla? You take that corridor, Rodney and I'll check out this end," John said, pointing his P90 down the dark corridor and casting a path of light.

"Sir," Ford acknowledged before he and Teyla disappeared.

Both men continued in silence, Rodney pointing his flashlight in every nook and cranny, his eyes hungrily searching for anything of interest.

"So, me and Teyla took another trip to the mainland this morning," John said, casually.

"Really?" Rodney asked, not sounding the least bit interested. "Oh, here's something. We should check this room out," Rodney said, shining his flashlight through a doorway.

John looked at him with irritation. Rodney turned to look at John and John quickly changed his expression, giving a blank nod. "Okey dokey."

Rodney frowned and then walked into the room. John followed behind him, the lights coming on one by one. Rodney looked back at the other man and rolled his eyes at what John knew the scientist saw as a cosmic lack of fairness.

"You know what I like about Teyla?" John asked as he waved a hand over a console and watched it light up.

"I dunno," Rodney mumbled. "Her breasts?"

John clamped his mouth shut, lest he should say something regrettable. Then he smiled. "Know what else I like about her?"

"No, enlighten me," was the flat response.

John turned and smiled at Rodney. "Well, it's like we have this connection? You know? Like she really gets me. It's so..."

"Surf addled?" Rodney suggested.

John smiled and nodded, pointing at Rodney. "That's very good. No, I was going to say it's refreshing. When people see who you are and don't hold it against you."

Rodney straightened up haughtily. "Major, with your sexual libido, holding _anything_ against you would be a decidedly bad idea."

"That's not fair," John objected. "Chaya was a one off. It's not like I'm having sex with people all over the place."

"You mean the rumors of you, the transporter and one of my scientists is unfounded?"

John looked away, his mouth opening to lie and then closing again. "She was upset. I was comforting her and one thing led to another. Actually, she kind of took advantage of me."

"I also heard a little thing about an Athosian woman," Rodney said, tapping a panel.

John rolled his eyes, his face warming. "Those Athosians, their wine, it's lethal. I wasn't exactly all there."

"Yes, I forgot you have a penchant for being very easy under the influence of alcohol. Not that you're exactly a wilting flower without it."

John closed his eyes, his lips moving in silent embarrassment. "Well, it's not like-"

"I have more examples," Rodney said lightly.

"I get the point," John said bluntly. "But it doesn't matter, because, I've turned over a new leaf."

"Why? Were you trying to have sex with it?" Rodney mumbled and John didn't miss the small smile on Rodney's face. Heat flared up in John's cheeks, but he bolstered his stance, hanging on to the remaining threads of his dignity.

"You're still mad at me," John said with a nod. "And I get that. I understand. Which is why I've decided it's time to get serious. It's time to make a long term..."

John groped for the word, but somehow it didn't seem right. Was it even a real word? Rodney was watching him struggle with it, frowning at him in wait.

"Commitment?" Rodney offered.

John pointed at Rodney. "Exactly! That. One of those. That's what I'm going to do."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Please. You can't even commit to saying the word."

"Well, I'm serious," John said with a shrug.

Rodney was frowning at John, obviously intrigued and John finally felt himself relaxing and gaining the upper hand.

"You are?" Rodney asked.

A sharp nod. "Yes I am."

"Since when?"

"Since realizing that my actions could have had serious repercussions," John said.

Rodney gave John a skeptical look. "Hmm. You almost sound sincere."

"I'm very sincere. It's why I've been spending so much time with Teyla," John said with a smug raise of the brow.

"Teyla?" Rodney frowned.

"Yeah. We really have something. She-"

"Gets you?" Rodney asked. "Yes, you said."

John smiled. Rodney just gave him an amused look and went back to the panel. John frowned. That wasn't right. Where was the jealousy? There had to be jealousy. He had seen the jealousy.

"So, what do you think?" John ventured, trying to sound laid back and cool.

"About what, Major?" Rodney asked absently.

"Well, you know, me and Teyla."

"There is no you and Teyla," Rodney said matter-of-factly.

"No, but there could be. There's something definitely there," John said, watching Rodney closely. He still didn't look jealous, but maybe it was deep down. Real deep down.

"No there isn't," Rodney said wearily.

"Why? Would you be jealous if there was?" John asked with a smirk.

Rodney looked up at John and rolled his eyes. "No, because Teyla's sleeping with Beckett."

John frowned, his head jerking back. "What? Since when?"

"Since a while, actually," Rodney said with a smug smile.

"Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?" John complained.

"Um, because then there wouldn't be priceless moments like this," Rodney said with a satisfied smile. "A feeble attempt at trying to make me jealous. I'm shocked, Major. Really, I am."

John glared and leaned back against a console as Rodney went back to his exploration.

"You still pissed off at me?" John asked quietly.

"It comes and goes," Rodney said slowly, his eyes fixed on the console in front of him.

"You think you'll ever stop being mad?" John asked, receiving no answer. "You can't stay angry forever, you know?"

"Of course not," Rodney said. "No one lives forever."

John kept glaring.

## 

*

John was poking his fork at something that could have been macaroni cheese or scrambled eggs. Or both. Or neither. Whatever it was, John had no appetite and let the fork fall.

A tray was set down in front of his and he looked up to see Carson sitting down at the table.

"Hey," John said, flatly.

"Hello there, Major," Carson said cheerily. "Not enjoying your breakfast surprise?"

John frowned. "What's the surprise?"

"The fact that nobody knows the ingredients," Carson said with a small smile.

John watched quietly as Carson tucked into his breakfast. He had wondered if Rodney had lied about Carson and Teyla, just to make him look stupid, which had worked remarkably well. It made sense in a way. Both Carson and Teyla coming from strange alien cultures.

Anyway, things would never have worked between him and Teyla, John thought. The rules of dating stated that you couldn't go out with someone smaller than you who could still kick your ass.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" John pushed his tray to the side and leaned in.

Carson's fork stopped mid-way, the blob of the miscellaneous, spongy food falling back down. "Well, within reason, I suppose so."

"You and Teyla," John said quietly.

Carson stared blankly. "Right?"

"Well, is it true? Are you seeing each other?"

Carson sighed and discreetly looked around the mess hall and back at John. "Quite a lot of each other actually."

John smiled. "Wow. Since when?"

"A few weeks," Carson said with a dopey smile. "Well, since all that nonsense with the Genii. We ended up having a lot of meaningful talks."

John nodded. "Are you... you know?"

Carson frowned and then sat back. "That's none of your business, thank you very much. Bloody cheek!"

John just smiled. "Sorry."

"And you ought to be. But, yes, we are," Carson said happily.

"Wow. You and Teyla, huh?"

Carson sighed and gazed off into the distance. "Aye, she's an amazing woman. Mind, I've always been attracted to athletic types, you know? She's very... agile."

John nodded thoughtfully. "Right. Athletic types. I guess that's not so unusual. A lot of people go for physical prowess."

"But she's so much more. Bright, intelligent, gentle," Carson said. "But yes, the physical prowess is quite nice too."

John smiled, narrowing his eyes at the other man who was drifting away to some happy place.

## 

*

The Athosian village on the mainland was brimming with laughter and celebratory noise as John, Teyla, Rodney and Ford stepped out of the puddle jumper. As ever, their arrival was greeted warmly.

Rodney looked on in amusement as a young woman coyly smiled at Ford and he unashamedly grinned back, straightening himself up with some strange amount of pride. Teyla was walking away at Halling's side, both engaged in quiet conversation. Rodney raised an eyebrow as a small group of children came between him and John, gathering around their hero.

"Hey, guys," John said and Rodney told himself he wasn't warmed at all by the fact that animals and children seemed quite enamored of the Major. After all, those were two of the stupidest groups in any galaxy.

Rodney walked alongside as the children vied for John's attention.

"Major Sheppard, look what father made us," Jinto said, holding up a perfectly made football.

John stopped and looked at the ball. "A football?"

"He remembered it from the moving pictures you showed us," Jinto said, with a proud grin.

John gave a solemn nod. "Okay. _This_ is very cool."

"This one is for you," Jinto said, grinning away.

John shook his head his expression a mixture of embarrassment and looking flattered. "I can't take this. Your father made it for you guys."

Rodney shook his head when each child held up a football of his own. John took the one Jinto was holding out and looked at it almost lovingly.

Then John turned looked at Rodney. "Y'know what I think?"

"Not even on a good day, Major," Rodney said flatly.

"I think it's time the Pegasus Galaxy had its first football game."

## 

*

Rodney rolled his eyes as John whooped with joy and high-fived his team and Ford threw a look of disgust at the thus-far winning side. In true childish fashion, Ford's team copied his look of disappointment, shaking their heads.

John caught Rodney looking and gave him a nod and smile. Rodney reminded himself to stay bored and unamused and stopped himself from smiling. John noticed the change and scowled.

John turned his back on Rodney and gathered the children in a small huddle and Rodney rolled his eyes, amazed at the lengths John Sheppard would go to in the name of flirtation.

Moments later, Rodney was once again staring as John threw the ball and it sailed through the air, spinning as it did and flying in a perfect arc. Wow, he thought, that Major sure had an arm on him. Two of them in fact. Rodney sighed.

"I am so screwed," Rodney mumbled to himself.

He looked away from John when he felt Halling's presence blocking the light breeze in the air.

"I can see why the children look forward to the Major's visits so much," Halling said with a fond smile as he watched the game.

Rodney nodded. "Well, I guess they just like being around people their own age. I believe Lieutenant Ford just turned twelve and there's no guessing to the Major's mental age. If he even has one."

Halling laughed lightly. "We are all young at heart. I am sure that even in you there is a child."

"God, I hope not," Rodney said.

"It is an interesting game, this foot ball," Halling said, his eyes following the progress of the ball.

"It has its merits, but, you want real sports? I mean, manly sports that don't involve you running around like girls chasing after a ball? You're talking about hockey. It takes skill, agility and illustrates the true perfection of physics at work," Rodney said with a smile.

Halling looked confused.

"It's better than football," Rodney added.

"No! You're running in the wrong direction!" Ford yelled, attracting Rodney and Halling's attention. Ford was frantically pointing and John was standing with a very smug smile on his face. Once again he looked over at Rodney briefly and Rodney turned away, a reluctant little thrill whizzing around in him somewhere.

"You did not wish to take part? Do you not enjoy it?" Halling asked.

"Actually, I thought I'd pass, because getting picked last isn't fun even after you've relocated to a new galaxy."

Halling frowned.

Rodney sighed. "It wouldn't really be fair if there were two grown men on one team."

Halling nodded. "Ah, I see. Also, it is a game for children."

"Not really. Where I come from there are grown men that get paid a great deal of money for throwing that ball around, whereas other people get shipped off to Siberia for being too smart."

"Money? Siberia?" Halling said with a frown.

"Money can be exchanged for goods and Siberia is very cold and has no interesting people or food," Rodney explained.

Halling nodded in understanding as they went back to watching. Another touchdown for John's team and the children jumped up and whooped with their team captain. Next to Rodney, Halling was laughing and thoroughly enjoying the game. Rodney looked at Halling, a thought occurring to him.

"You know, if you're really enjoying this, maybe you should take a shot at it," Rodney suggested.

Halling frowned. "I do not understand."

"Well, like I said, it's a game that can be played by anyone. If you get a few people together, I can tell you the rules and you can have your very first football game," Rodney said with his best smile.

Halling shook his head. "I am not sure."

Rodney sighed sadly. "I understand. Actually, this was more for the Major than anything else."

"How so?"

"As you might be able to tell, he's very serious about football and he's been complaining that he hasn't been part of a real game since leaving Earth. It's making him very homesick and unhappy," Rodney said sincerely.

Halling looked at John, who noticed and waved back with a grin. Halling gave a polite nod. "He does not seem unhappy."

"Trust me, he is. Under that strange hair and stupid smile is a lot of pain. It's hard to talk about it really," Rodney said as he brought his fist to his mouth.

Halling put his large, warm hand on Rodney's shoulder, comforting him. "What would a real game entail?"

Rodney perked up instantly. "People his own age for one. You can't play real football with a bunch of kids, well, unless you're one of them. Which in his case is a little true. Also, there are slightly different rules, which you can't have in a game with children."

Halling nodded. "I understand. I will gather some of my friends and see if they wish to participate. You will explain the rules of the game?"

"Absolutely," Rodney said with glee.

"Perhaps you will also join us?"

"I'd love to, really I would, but... uh... I have this inner ear thing, which means I uh, fall over a lot. It's a tragedy, I don't really like to talk about it."

"I am sorry to hear that. I will return shortly then," Halling said with a kind smile and Rodney smiled back.

"Hey, what's going on?"

Rodney turned around, smile still in place as John approached. "Major."

John frowned at the perky smile. "Rodney."

"I've been watching the game. Very impressive I have to say," Rodney said with a little nod.

John grinned, pleased. "Really? Hey, you want in?"

"No, actually, I'm having more fun watching." Rodney's eyebrows bounced up once. John stepped back, obviously alarmed.

"Really?"

"Absolutely. You really are quite... athletic."

John gave a proud nod. "Well, I guess so. Help keeps your energy up."

"Well, quite," Rodney said. "You know, Halling was just saying that he and some of his friends were hoping to have a little throw around with you. I told him I'd explain some of the finer points of the game."

John looked a little wary. "I don't know, Rodney."

"Come on, it's just touch football. Besides, I'm having so much fun."

"I guess a little game wouldn't hurt," John said with a nod before he lurched forward and onto Rodney.

Rodney steadied John and then pushed him back. "I said I was impressed, I didn't say you could jump me."

John scowled and rubbed the back of his head, where the ball had just hit. They turned around in time to see Ford looking back sheepishly.

"I tried to stop him, Sir," Ford said pointing to a rather guilty looking boy.

"Ford," John warned loudly and Ford ushered the boy back into the team huddle. John turned and smiled at Rodney. "I better go before a hockey game breaks out."

Rodney smiled, shaking his head as John walked away. "My god, that man would be so lethal if he wasn't thinking with his pants."

## 

*

John stared blankly as Ford sat on an infirmary bed, grinning at the nurse who was tending to his bloody nose. She was murmuring questions and Ford was replying to each one with a huge grin. She finished up her business and walked away, Ford watching her all the way. Once she was gone, Ford slipped off the bed and sat down next to John on his.

"She finally caved. Looks like we're hooking up," Ford said with a happy nod.

John frowned at Ford, though it caused some pain to the cut in the corner of his forehead. "You asked her out?"

"Yeah," Ford said proudly.

"We've only been here five minutes," John said, looking quite shocked.

Ford seemed to think about that. "What? You think it took too long?"

John rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "How the hell did _I_ get the bad rep?"

"I didn't go off with any glowy people," Ford said.

"Thanks for reminding me, Lieutenant."

Ford shrugged. "I'm just saying."

"Lieutenant Ford, I'd appreciate it if you didn't chat up my nurses while they're trying to tend to your injuries," Carson said, appearing with a small amused smile.

Ford grinned. "Why? Are they talking about me?"

"I think you're all right to go now, Lieutenant," Carson said with a reprimanding look.

Ford smiled sheepishly and got up, giving John a victorious grin as he left.

"That lad, he's quite the Lothario," Carson said, grabbing John's chin and pushing it from side to side.

"Hey, careful there. It's my face, not a ham," John said irritably.

Caron looked at John's split lip and cut forehead. "What I don't understand is, how does a game of football land you and Lieutenant Ford in the infirmary?"

John's eyes narrowed. "Well, apparently, there was a misunderstanding of the rules."

"For instance?"

John gave an annoyed look. "For instance, hit a guy's stomach with the ball, ten points. Hit him on the ass, twenty points. Get him in the crotch, fifty points. A bonus point if you can get his hair."

Carson frowned. "You know, I never really understood American football. I think this just goes to prove why."

John scowled up at Carson. "They're not real rules!"

Carson blew out a breath. "Thank god for that. I was beginning to think you're bloody strange people."

"We're not. It was McKay. He made those rules up and told Halling and his buddies. He also told them that if you go after the captain of the opposite team, he considers it an honor. I spent a whole afternoon running from a bunch of guys aiming for my nuts and thinking, what the hell did I do to piss them off?"

Carson smiled, looking somewhere between amused and sympathetic. "Rodney's got a very strange sense of humor."

John glared at Carson. "He's a goddamn sociopath!"

"Now, now, Major, there's no need to get all excited. Where is Rodney anyway?"

"How the hell should I know? He's probably boiling a rabbit somewhere."

## 

*

"I'm sorry. Exactly how was that supposed to be funny?" Elizabeth asked, a deep frown etched on her forehead as she stared at Rodney.

Rodney tilted his head as he thought about it. "I'm not sure. At the time, it seemed to have a lot of comic potential."

Elizabeth's face grew stern. "Rodney, setting up our highest ranking military officer as a target doesn't seem like a very bright idea."

"Oh please, it was a friendly game with the Athosians. They were equally bruised. Halling had to be carried off the field and he was still laughing, although that might have to do with the Athosians being crazy."

Elizabeth didn't look impressed. "The Major could hardly walk when you got back."

"I'm sure he'll be springing back to attention in no time," Rodney said with a smile.

"Rodney," Elizabeth warned.

"Again, the comic potential seemed greater before the delivery," Rodney said quickly.

Elizabeth still didn't look remotely amused. Rodney sighed and folded his arms across his chest. "Fine, I'm sorry. It was stupid."

"You're apologizing to the wrong person."

"I already apologized to the Athosians and they thought it was all very funny."

"You know who I'm talking about."

"Ford?"

"Rodney!"

"I'm not apologizing to Sheppard. We don't have that kind of relationship," Rodney said flatly.

"_What_ kind of relationship?" Elizabeth asked wearily.

"The kind where I apologize to him," Rodney answered impatiently. "Are you even listening to me?"

Elizabeth sighed and her face softened somewhat. "Look, I know you're still a little upset that we didn't take you as seriously as we should have during that whole Chaya escapade, but don't you think it's time you let it go?"

"Of course not. I thought that was obvious."

Elizabeth's expression went back to being annoyed. "You're a very stubborn man."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "It's the only thing I inherited from my mother, I figure I should hold on to it. You know, sentimental value and all."

Elizabeth glared at Rodney, getting up and walking to the doorway. "Let's go."

Rodney eyed her suspiciously. "Where?"

"We're going to the infirmary."

"Why? Are you sick?" Rodney asked rather snidely.

"No, Rodney, I am not sick."

"Well, neither am I, in which case taking a trip to the infirmary seems pretty redundant. Don't you think?"

Elizabeth didn't answer. She simply stood there with an icy glare that promised bad things. After a few minutes of it, Rodney rolled his eyes and got up to follow her.

## 

*

John was slowly making his way to the corridor, his newly stitched forehead throbbing along with every other muscle in his body that had been pelted during the game. Screw showering, he thought. He would go to his quarters and fall down on the other side of the door, complete with dirty, muddy clothes.

He reached the doorway of the infirmary, only to face Elizabeth and Rodney. John stopped and took a deep breath, not looking at Rodney.

"John," Elizabeth said with a polite smile. "I see you've been patched up. How are you feeling?"

John turned to Rodney who stood with a rather arrogant demeanor. He looked back at Elizabeth. "How am I feeling? Great. Just great. How are _you_ feeling?"

"I feel pretty good," Rodney said with a smile.

John glared at Rodney. "I wasn't asking you."

"I was telling Elizabeth," Rodney answered.

"She didn't ask you either," John said.

"In which case, I just generally felt compelled to share my well-being with all present," Rodney said smugly.

"Enough! Both of you," Elizabeth said, her voice sounding strained. "Rodney, don't you have something you have to say?"

"I do?" Rodney frowned.

"Yes, you do," Elizabeth warned.

Rodney let his head fall back as he sighed dramatically and then looked at John with a bored expression. "Elizabeth would like me to apologize to you," Rodney said and then turned to her. "There, I said it. Can I leave now?"

Elizabeth stepped in front when Rodney made a move to leave. "Rodney-"

"Don't," John said to Elizabeth, watching Rodney. "There's nothing he has to say I want to hear anyway."

Rodney snorted. "Please, like you can understand anything I have to say."

John leaned back slightly, the personal barb having aptly stunned him. To his credit, Rodney seemed to look a little regretful about what he had just said.

"I'm outta here," John said quietly and pushed between Rodney and Elizabeth, limping out of the infirmary.

## 

*

John walked as fast as he could without setting off multiple flares of pain. Unfortunately, for every step he took towards the transporter, the transporter seemed to move further away from him.

John sighed and stopped, his hand going to his aching forehead. He put his other hand against the wall, leaning there for a while to let the other parts quit with the painful throbbing.

"Need any help?"

John slowly turned to look at Rodney, who still looked unrepentant about what had happened. "I think you've helped enough."

"Actually, technically, what I did wasn't really... helpful," Rodney offered.

John feigned surprise. "You don't say."

John started making his way again, Rodney walking at his side.

"I can't believe you did that," John said, shaking his head.

"I couldn't help it. You should have seen yourself, prancing around, trying to be all alluring."

"I don't prance," John said with a scowl. "And I definitely was not trying to be _all alluring_."

"Oh please," Rodney said, his voice lowering. "You think I don't talk to Beckett? He told me about his interesting conversation with you about the things that particularly attract him to Teyla."

John stopped and frowned at Rodney. "He did?"

Rodney gave a single, sharp nod of his head. "Yes, Major, he did."

"Oh. Well, did it work?"

Rodney rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You just don't know when to quit, do you?"

John gave Rodney an irritated look and walked on, into the transporter. Rodney followed and tapped the screen.

"So, does this make you happy then? Me in pain? Is this good for you?"

John saw Rodney looking him over, his eyes lingering over the mud on his clothes, the split lip and the cut on his forehead. "Not exactly, but I'd like to point out that emotional suffering and mental anguish is always worse than physical pain."

John smiled. "Oh yeah? How about we test that theory out on your face?"

"I would happily oblige with testing your theory if it weren't for my extremely delicate bone structure," Rodney said, taking a safe step back from John.

John eyed Rodney, something obviously on his mind.

"What?" Rodney asked.

"Are we done now? You know, even? I pissed you of and you almost got me killed?"

Rodney made a face as if John was suddenly talking an alien language. "First of all, you didn't almost get killed. Secondly, even? What is this? High school? There's no even-stevens."

"So, you're saying, I've got bruises all over me just for your amusement?"

Rodney shook his head. "Of course not. I wasn't the only one amused."

John looked furious. "Fuck this! This is bullshit!"

The doors to the transporter opened and McKay tapped the panel to shut them.

"Excuse me for not being able to interpret emotions very well, but you don't exactly look remorseful about anything," Rodney said.

"What? You're out of your mind, McKay! I've apologized to you more times than I've had sex in my whole life, and believe me, that's a big number."

Rodney narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I don't doubt that for a second."

"How many times does a guy have to say sorry before you stop treating him like crap?"

"Once is enough, if he means it," Rodney answered plainly.

John stared, dumbfounded. He threw his hands up in defeat, shaking his head. "You know what, fine. Let's just forget the whole thing."

"There is no _thing_, you screwed it up, remember?"

"How can I forget with you bringing it up every five minutes?"

"Well, like a certain part of your anatomy, it's a problem I suffer from."

"After today's little friendly game, I don't think that part of my anatomy is ever going to come up again," John snapped.

"My heart bleeds."

John suddenly closed in on Rodney, slamming him hard against the transporter wall, his fingers clutching the front of Rodney's jacket. Rodney was staring at him with wide eyes, as if trying to look into his head. John stared back, filled with anger, frustration and a million other things that made no sense to him.

"Let go of me," Rodney said quietly.

John shook his head. "No," he said, before moving to Rodney's lips.

John's kissed him with desperation; hungry and needy, wondering when he had exactly gotten to those stages. Rodney didn't seem to be objecting either, his mouth moving against John's, sharing kisses.

"I told you, let go," Rodney gasped against John's opening mouth.

"I told you, no," John said, his tongue slipping past Rodney's lips, as he leaned into Rodney, feeling the other man's hands resting at his waist, gently pulling at his jacket.

But only a moment later, Rodney was slowly pulling his mouth away, as if reluctant and gently placing his hands against John's chest, pushing him back.

Both men found themselves breathless and unable to look each other in the eyes.

John was shaking his head and looking at the floor. "I said I was sorry. I don't know what else you want."

Rodney tilted his head to the side, his brow furrowing. "Why are you sorry?"

John looked up, confused. "What?"

"Tell me why you're sorry."

John looked around the transporter, a frown creasing his forehead. "I'm sorry because you're so pissed off at me. I'm sorry because you're still angry and I want it to stop already."

Rodney looked completely unimpressed. "Wrong answer."

He tapped the panel on the door as John watched him, frustration clear on his face.

"We're here," Rodney said, not moving from against the wall.

John took the hint and stepped outside, putting a hand against the door frame before the doors could slide shut.

"If that's the wrong answer, tell me the right one and I'll say it," he said quietly.

Rodney put his hand on John's for a second and then pried it from the doorway. "It doesn't work like that."

The doors closed and John hobbled back to his quarters.

## 

*

Rodney was one of a handful of people in the mess hall. He sat alone at a table, staring at his coffee cup.

His face warmed all over again as he thought about John, pressed up against him, hard and willing. Maybe it was time to cave in. The guy had spent half a day running from projectiles aimed at his favorite parts and he was still pressing on with apologizing. Rodney had to admit it; he was surprised. Pleasantly. He couldn't recall anyone working this hard to get to him before. It was... interesting.

"Hey, Dr McKay," Ford said cheerily, taking a seat opposite Rodney.

"Lieutenant," Rodney acknowledged.

Ford was looking at Rodney and grinning in a manner that made Rodney want to smack his own head on the table. "What?"

"Man, I can't believe you pulled that stunt. You're the last person we figured would do that."

"We?" Rodney asked, suddenly worried about the wider implications of playing tricks on people who liked guns.

"Me and Teyla," Ford said. "We figured we should keep it to ourselves."

"I think that would be a good idea," Rodney said flatly, watching as Ford was distracted by a pretty woman who worked on Rodney's team.

"Hello, Dr. McKay," she said, staring at Ford.

"Yes, hello, Dr. Meyers," Rodney said, watching Meyers and Ford grinning at each other.

"Hey, how you doing?" Ford asked her quietly.

"Good, thanks," Susan smiled and walked on.

Ford looked at Rodney, obviously excited. "You know her?"

"She's too old for you," Rodney replied tightly.

Ford shrugged. "I don't mind."

"You're just one big gland, aren't you?"

"Hey, there's not a lot to do around here off-duty. In case you haven't noticed, only you scientists get to play with the gadgets. The rest of us? We're just muscle," Ford said, becoming distracted by someone on the other side of the mess hall.

"She's seeing someone," Rodney informed Ford, once he saw the object of Ford's ogling.

"Maybe she's ready for a change." Ford gave Rodney one of his huge grins.

"Only if she's seeing you," Rodney replied.

Ford seemed unaffected and just gave an amused smile. "You know what? I think you need a girlfriend, McKay."

Rodney nodded. "Perhaps you should leave thinking up to the professionals."

"I'm serious. You're not getting any younger, you know?"

Rodney gave Ford an annoyed scowl, which only seemed to perk up Ford even more. "What? I'll have you know I'm one of the few men that fall into the category of people that have accomplished many things at a very tender age."

"I was twenty-four when I stepped through the Stargate," Ford said with a proud grin. "You think I might fit that category too?"

Rodney glared. "Shut up."

"Look, all I'm saying is, if you got yourself a girlfriend, maybe you wouldn't be so grumpy."

"I am not _grumpy_. I'm just... complicated."

Ford looked worried. "Really? I mean, this is you all the time?"

"Yes. What's the problem?"

"Nothing, if you never wanna get laid," Ford said with a nod.

"Just because I'm not trying to sleep with the entire population of Atlantis, doesn't mean I can't _get laid_," Rodney said.

Rodney caught Ford watching him closely then, his frown indicating some kind of primitive thought process occurring. Then Ford gave a small laugh and pointed at Rodney. "You've got your eye on someone."

Rodney felt heat rush to his face and his stomach fall through the floor. "That's not what I said."

"You didn't have to. Man, you're sly. Who is she?"

"There's no _she_, Lieutenant," Rodney insisted.

"There's got to be someone you like around here."

"Well, now that all those Athosian women are gone, no, not really."

Ford stared at Rodney with narrow-eyed suspicion. "Really?"

"Yes. Really. Can we please change the subject?"

"Wow," Ford said with a nod.

"Yes. Wow," Rodney intoned.

"So, what do you do?"

"What do I do? With what?"

"You know, with your spare time."

Rodney frowned. "Spare time?"

Ford gave a nod of understanding then, as if it all clicked into place. "Right."

Rodney shook his head. "I'm sorry, did we just have a conversation?"

"Hey, Ford. Feel like hanging out?"

Rodney followed the softly spoken voice to a woman of similar age to Ford, in military uniform, her smile wide and mischievous.

"Definitely," Ford said with an enthusiastic nod as he got up. "Later, McKay."

Rodney waved a hand, with a roll of his eyes as Ford and his friend walked away in an overly nonchalant manner.

Then he slumped back in his seat and resumed his grumpy face.

## 

*

When Rodney walked in, John was lying face down on his bed, flat as a pancake and still in his dirty clothes.

Rodney went to the small washroom and wrapped up his peace offering in a towel. Back in the main room, he pulled out a chair and placed it next to the bed, sitting down with a small sigh.

John's face was squashed against the pillow, one visible eye shut and the tape over his cut forehead making Rodney feel guilty against his will. John's eye suddenly flickered opened and his brow slowly morphed into a scowl.

"Hi," John said flatly, his voice thick with sleep.

Rodney held up his hand. "Hey. I uh... I brought you an ice pack."

John stared as Rodney placed the towel-wrapped ice pack on the bed. "Thank you."

Rodney was frowning at him, dirty and bruised and still not looking remorseful enough. "What's with you and all the sex?"

John seemed to think hard about the question and then made a face. "It's nice."

"Nice? You have to give me more than that."

"It's really nice?"

Rodney's eyebrow went up, definitely unimpressed by that answer. "You don't get bored of all the bed hopping?"

John smiled. "Would you?"

Rodney sighed. "I can't say the opportunity's really presented itself. Physicists aren't exactly on par with horny Majors. We definitely don't have as many groupies."

"You have one," John offered with a look so sincere it had to be fake.

"I'm not looking for a groupie," Rodney said.

John shrugged. "Come on, if you had the opportunity, wouldn't you spread it around a little?"

Rodney cursed himself for not hating John and his reasoning, because damn it, it was true. "Well, issues of sanitation and hygiene aside, I can't say I'd pass up the opportunity." Rodney sighed. "I feel like I'm in a very badly written episode of _Sex in the City_."

"Well, Atlantis _is_ a city," John offered.

Rodney leaned back in his chair and stared at John. "You know, I wasn't the one that passed up the opportunity for sex. That was you."

John nodded. "I know."

"It's an odd experience being turned down by the guy that doesn't turn anyone down," Rodney said and John closed his eye, grimacing.

"Does your head hurt?" Rodney asked, wishing the guilt would just go away.

John's eye remained closed. "No."

"I could get you something from Beckett."

"I'm fine," John said with a sigh.

Rodney nodded, taking a look around the room. "You think I'm grumpy?"

John opened his eye and his brow lifted, his mouth pouting in thought. "You're a complicated guy," he said slowly.

"Right. Complicated. That would be the reason you ran off like a girl, wouldn't it?"

"Yes," John said flatly. "That would be the reason."

Rodney shook his head. "Ford said I was grumpy. That sounds so... old."

John sighed. "I wish I was Ford's age again."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Oh please, what difference would being his age make to you anyway? I'm sure you're sexual conquest of Atlantis would only be fractionally quicker."

"Actually, technically, being younger would make my _sexual conquest_ last longer, wouldn't it?" John asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I wasn't talking about sexual performance. I was talking about the speed with which you could destroy the population with your overactive hormones."

John's eye glared. "Well, sexual conquests aside, I could do with the edge for outrunning footballs aimed at my ass... and other places."

"Yeah, about that. Sorry," Rodney mumbled quickly.

John turned over and sat up slowly. Very slowly. He brought his feet off the bed, with a somewhat pained expression and then looked at Rodney. "I don't think I caught that."

Rodney shut his eyes momentarily and then re-opened them with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry about what happened today. I was out of line... somewhat... a little."

John nodded. "Yes, you were. But you know what?"

Rodney smiled, because he knew what was coming next. "No. What?"

John pointed at Rodney. "I forgive you."

Rodney looked on, amused. "Of course. Well, thank you for that. It's very big of you."

John nodded in agreement. "Yes, yes it is. So you remember that. I, John Sheppard, _forgave_ you."

"Goodnight," Rodney said, getting up and heading to the door.

"Hey, did you get that? I forgave you," John called out.

Rodney turned around sighed. "Yes, it's etched into my memory. You forgave me. Thank you. Anything else?"

John thought about it. "Yeah, just one thing. I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue," John said, his expression stressing how important a piece of information that was.

Rodney nodded thoughtfully. "Well, if anyone could, it would be you."

"I just thought you should know," John said with a shrug.

Rodney turned towards the door before John could see his smile. "Goodnight, Major."

## 

*

It was a feudal world. There was a village. And villagers. And crops. Nothing of technological use, but lots to eat. An abundance of food, in fact.

Rodney was watching quietly from afar as John stood talking to the young chief of the tribe. Both men were smiling and talking and Rodney felt a pang of jealousy when the Chief placed a hand on John's shoulder.

He looked away to see Teyla and Ford entertaining the questions of curious children. Better them than him. When he looked back in John's direction, John was headed back towards Rodney, the chief watching him walk away.

"So, you made a deal?" Rodney asked as John closed in.

John's face was slightly flushed and he threw Teyla and Ford a discreet look before stepping closer. "We're leaving."

"What about the trade negotiation?"

John turned around and the chief waved with a large grin. John turned back to Rodney and his own smile was replaced by a serious expression. "No deal."

"What? Why? What did you do?"

John looked offended. "I didn't do anything. That's the problem. Zobral's willing to give us all the crops we want in exchange for something that's not a part of the agreement."

Rodney frowned. "What does he want?"

John looked around again and rolled his eyes. "He wants me and him to..." John said as he smacked his fist into his palm.

Rodney scowled. "He wants to smack you around? I can't say I don't blame him, but it's a pretty odd request."

"Very funny, Rodney. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about bumping uglies."

Rodney stared blankly. "Do a little dance? Make a little love? Get down tonight?"

John nodded. "Something like that."

"And you said no?" Rodney looked surprised.

"Sure I said no."

"Really? Why?"

John stared. "Why? What do you mean why?"

"Well, look at him. He's Mr. GQ in a pashmina. I'm not sure _I'd_ say no," Rodney said with a shrug.

John gave Rodney an amused smirk. "Mr. GQ in a pashmina? How the hell has no one figured out you're gay?"

"Because I'm willing to bet that gay military outnumbers gay scientists on Atlantis. That's why," Rodney said smugly.

John smiled and shook his head. "Let's go."

Rodney listened with amusement as John made up a less embarrassing excuse for Teyla and Ford.

"They want us to shave our heads and take part in a naked dance?" Ford asked in confusion. "Man, just when you think this galaxy can't get any weirder."

"Perhaps you did not understand Zobral's request," Teyla said with amusement.

"Trust me, he was pretty clear," John said with a sincere nod as Rodney smirked next to him.

"Well, I for one would have liked to have seen that," Rodney said. "Uh, do you dance, Major?"

John's head turned slowly, smile fixed in place as he looked at Rodney. Rodney smiled back proudly.

They continued to the puddle jumper, John quiet and Ford still vocalizing his amazement at the twisted nature of the Pegasus Galaxy. It was just as they approached the jumper, Rodney saw what looked like the turret of a building, hidden in the nearby forest.

"Huh, look at that, looks like we missed it," he said, stopping to look as he fumbled to get an energy reading.

"You getting anything?"

"Uh, very weak energy signal, from that direction," Rodney said with a sharp point of the finger. "We should check it out?"

John nodded. "Let's check it out."

The building was only a few minutes walk away, old and crumbling red rock with a very familiar script written on the outer walls.

"Ancients," Rodney said looking at the faded writing, and then at Teyla for confirmation.

"It does seem like their writing," Teyla said with a nod.

Inside, the building was dark and filled with cobwebs and scurrying animals that you could hear and couldn't see.

"Looks like someone needs to call pest control," Ford said with a disgusted grimace as something ran over the tip of his boot.

"Any idea what that signal is?" John asked as he came up behind Rodney. He looked over Rodney's shoulder at the gadget in his hand.

Rodney turned around and looked up at John.

"Okay, do the words personal space mean anything to you?" Rodney whispered.

John smiled triumphantly and walked away, towards a statue of a naked woman by the far wall. Rodney shook his head. Then the naked woman lit up. John jumped back.

"I didn't do anything," John said, holding his hands up.

Rodney rushed to John's side and stared at the glowing statue. "I'm beginning to think you don't even have the gene. It's all in your hormones, isn't it?"

"What happened?" Ford asked before John could offer a retort.

"Apparently, she likes me," John said with a smile.

Rodney turned and looked at John and Ford, who both had big, proud grins.

"Is it possible that Major Sheppard activated it with his gene?" Teyla asked from Rodney's side.

"If it's built by the Ancients, then that's probably a yes," Rodney said.

Teyla shone her flashlight at the pedestal the statue was standing on, an inscription becoming clear.

"Any idea what that says?" John asked.

"It is a name. Dione," Teyla said.

"So... what does that mean?" Ford asked.

Rodney rolled his eyes and turned to Ford. "It means, the statue was probably named Dione."

Ford shrugged, like it was all irrelevant anyway.

John, on the other hand, reached out and touched the name, rubbing away dust with his thumb.

Something started to shake and move, stone grating against stone. Everyone took a step back from the statue as it began to rise and reveal something hidden underneath. Rodney laughed out loud when the ZPM began to rise up.

John was looking on stunned. "Okay. That's cool."

"We've got to take this back to Atlantis. For all we know it might be a fully functioning ZPM. Who knows how long it's been hidden here," Rodney said, his hands reaching out before John's hand pushed them back down.

"How do we know this ZPM isn't powering something on this planet?" John asked.

Rodney looked at the ZPM. "It's turned off. Whatever powers the mechanism in this statue, it's not the ZPM. I'm only getting residual readings from the ZPM. It hasn't been used in a very long time."

John looked at Teyla. She seemed slightly more uncertain. "This world has encountered the Wraith on many occasions. If this ZPM was protecting them somehow, it hasn't done so for a very long time."

John nodded. "Right. Okay, grab it."

"What if Dr. Weir decides it's a bad idea?" Ford asked from behind John.

John made face. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Better you than me, Sir," Ford mumbled quietly.

John watched as Rodney removed the ZPM from the statue and held it lovingly in his arms.

"Okay, let's get out of here before... hey Zobral," John said as they turned around and saw Zobral with a group of not too friendly looking men behind him.

"Sir?" Ford said. "I think we might have to do that dance after all."

## 

*

"Did you talk to him?" Rodney whispered.

John nodded. "Yeah. He says we can have the ZPM."

"That's great news. Isn't it?"

"No, it's not Rodney. Not if I have to lie back and think of Atlantis for it," John said, trying to whisper.

"Oh please," Rodney hissed. "Like you're not giving it away as it is. You get back in there and take one for the team."

"Hey, how 'bout you take one for the team!" John snapped.

"I would if I could," Rodney snapped back. "But as you can see, I am locked up in a little wooden box with a slot for my daily requirement of air. The only way I could sexually satisfy Zobral is if he stuck his-"

"I get the point," John cut in. "Fine. I'll do it, but because it's the only way to get you all out of these boxes and because you want that ZPM. Oh and one more thing."

"What?" the large wooden box asked.

"If I do this, you forgive me," John pointed at the box.

"What? Forgive you? Forget it!"

"You have to! If I do this, you forget all that stuff with Chaya and we start this over," John said, leaning into the slot of the box.

The box was quiet for a while. "They way I see it, _Major_, if you don't get us out of here, it's going to be very difficult for me to provide my scientific services to Atlantis from this very cramped box. I don't think it's going to do our relationship much good either. Do you?"

John glared at the stupid box with its stupid logic. "Fine."

"Fine? You know, for someone who doesn't want to do this, you caved pretty fast," Rodney said, his voice sounding tight.

"You know what, you are one seriously screwed up guy, McKay!" John tried to keep his voice down. "I thought you wanted me to take one for the team."

"Jealousy's not really one of my finer qualities." Rodney's voice was slightly quieter. John watched a single finger poke out of the slot in the box and wave up and down. "Good luck."

John sighed and nodded, giving the finger a small yank. "Thanks. I'll be right back."

## 

*

Zobral's humble abode looked like a harem out of some movie about genies and magic lamps, complete with coy women, all of whom were appreciatively ogling John.

John smiled, arching his eyebrow. "Well, hello ladies."

Zobral appeared at John's side. "They will be leaving."

The women all covered their mouths and giggled in unison as John put some space between himself and Zobral. Zobral muttered something quietly to the women that sent them into another fit of giggles. Casting John some more mischievous glances, they all slowly got up and left the tent.

John gave Zobral a blank look. "Friends of yours?"

Zobral grinned. "Scribes. They write fine tales to please me during those long winter nights."

John gave an understanding nod. "On Earth we just use the Internet."

Zobral smiled. "Please. Sit."

John looked around the very silky room for somewhere to sit, but the only place you could sit was a huge arrangement of cushions and blankets on the floor. John slowly sat down on the very edge, hand on his P90. Just in case.

"Nice place," John said, giving an appreciative nod as Zobral handed him an extravagantly decorated goblet of wine.

John held up the drink in a toast and knocked it back as Zobral watched with amusement. "Please, Major, pace yourself. It is very..."

John finished the wine and looked at the empty goblet with satisfaction before setting it aside and looking around the cushions scattered over the place.

"Strong wine," Zobral finished, a huge grin spreading on his face.

"You know, where I come from, getting a guy to sleep with you by putting his friends in a box is considered pretty rude. All you had to do was buy me a drink. Hey, two shots of Tequila and I'm all yours," John said with a smile.

Zobral laughed and sat down next to John, earning a narrow-eyed look of suspicion. "That may be, but amongst my people, it is considered rude to plunder the holy ruins of your host."

John pointed at Zobral with a nod and smile. "You got me there."

Zobral's eyes wandered slowly from John's face, down, across, at the P90 and back at John who sat still like a cardboard cutout. Zobral leaned in. "Do you not find me pleasing to the eyes?"

John leaned back slightly and took a good look at the young, dark-haired, tan-skinned and brown-eyed man. "I find you very pleasing. But, see? That gets me into all kinds of trouble."

Zobral covered John's hand and slowly removed it from the P90. "I like trouble."

## 

*

"This has got to be the worst mission ever. First they feed you and then they stick you in a box. Next comes the part where some old witch is going to ask one of us to see if her oven is working by stepping inside. I've never felt so stupid in my life. Gee, Rodney, what did you do in the Pegasus Galaxy? Well, let's see, I met aliens that take eating with their hands a bit too literally, I got skewered by the Genii, I had a bad trip on a nanovirus and, oh yeah, I did some time in a box!"

"Oh, that's it! I'm warning you, man! If you don't shut up, I'm breaking out of this thing and coming over there to shut you up!"

"Oh really? I'd like to see you do that, Lieutenant! Let's see you thinking out of the box for a change, while you're actually in one!"

"Someone let me out of here so I can kick his ass!"

"Lieutenant Ford! Dr. McKay. Fighting each other will not remedy this situation. You must try and remain calm."

"Fine. Tell him to quit with the whining then."

"I will stop with the _whining_ as soon as you stop kicking in the inside of your box. I think it's become quite clear that good old marine know-how isn't going to help you break through solid oak."

"Oh yeah? Well maybe I'll prove you wrong when I break out of this box and come over there to kick your ass."

"And maybe pigs will fly and sing tweedle deedle dee."

Guard Heninan picked his teeth with a small wooden splint as the boxes continued to bicker.

"I think I will light anything wooden on fire if I hear another word."

The room descended into blissful silence.

## 

*

John was lying back feeling extremely calm. Adrift almost. Somehow, he had managed to lose his jacket and his P90, but it didn't matter because everything was soft, fuzzy and warm.

John looked up at Zobral's face as the other man lay there, propped up on an elbow, his fingers doing weird things in John's shirt.

"And they kind of go round and round, but they're really big, so you can see everything from real high up," John said slowly.

"You like being high up?" Zobral asked with a grin.

John smiled, feeling strangely giddy. "I love it. It's the cooles-"

Zobral shut John's mouth with a long, languid kiss. When he pulled back, Zobral had a huge grin on his face.

"Close your eyes," Zobral said.

"Excuse me?" John asked.

"Please. I have something most delightful for you. You will not have experienced its like," Zobral promised.

"Like I haven't heard that before," John said with a small laugh.

"Please, won't you?" Zobral asked again, his smile doing funny things to John.

John closed his eyes since his eyelids felt heavy anyway and Zobral's voice had a strange way of getting straight into his head, bouncing around like in a steel drum. Like a constant hum in his head that made him want to laugh.

Something was pressed lightly against his lips and a familiar aroma tickled his nose and teased his tongue. He opened his mouth and something sweet was pushed in. It melted in his mouth, coating his tongue like honey and doing strange things all across his body. So smooth like... like everything. Melting, like everything.

John opened his eyes slowly and saw Zobral was grinning happily at him.

"Is it not exquisite?"

"Chocolate? Your people have chocolate?" John asked, utterly fascinated, though a part of him told him he shouldn't have been this excited at all.

"It is zhaka. Very valuable for trade," Zobral said, fetching another piece from a dish and holding it up in front of John. John's tongue was still happily digging up chocolate from one of his teeth as he reached out for the second offering.

Zobral pulled it away and shook his head with a sly smile. John smiled back amused and leaned forward, opening his mouth slightly as Zobral pushed the small piece of pure chocolate in, his finger following enough to touch John's tongue and then to pull at his lip.

John stared at Zobral and both men seemed to have lost the playfulness of the moment.

"You cheated," John said quietly.

Zobral lunged forward, his lips locking onto John's as he pushed the other man back down onto the cushions. Zobral's mouth tasted of zhaka, mingled with the taste of wine. Sweet, sour, bitter and honeyed. John couldn't help but moan as the body on top of him moved slowly, every part of him in contact with John, both their tongues tasting chocolate.

John's hands found their way under Zobral's shirt and roamed over heated skin, finding taut and hard muscle. Feeling his way down Zobral's muscled back, he let his fingers slip under the waistband of the other man's pants, digging into warm flesh and pulling Zobral closer.

He felt like he was flying high. He was quite sure his body was at least ten feet off the floor and if he let go of Zobral, he'd come crashing right back down. Hell, it wasn't so bad. It felt good to have a bit of stubble scratching against your cheek and rough hands hiking your shirt up. It felt good to be weighed down by hard muscle. For all its merits, glowy sex just wasn't the same.

Zobral kissed him, hungry and forceful, pinning him to the cushions and it was all good. The floating, the flying, the hardness, the coarseness. And it was all on very silky sheets. Why the hell would he complain? Sure there was a slight case of his head spinning and him sinking into the floor, but hey, that was also kind of fun.

John pulled away from Zobral's mouth and gasped, opening his eyes wide to try and stop the room from spinning so fast.

Something was wrong. John could feel it. Something was wrong, somewhere at the back of his head, in the pit of his stomach. He looked at Zobral. Young, horny Zobral that could probably go at it like a Duracell bunny. But something was wrong. John shook his head. Whatever it was, it would have to be wrong at another time. Only crazy people said no to getting laid with horny, enthusiastic aliens.

John frowned at that last revelation. Maybe this needed rethinking.

"What is wrong?" Zobral asked, frowning at John.

John stared at Zobral. Nothing was wrong. Definitely. "Nothing. Nothing at all," he said, reaching up for Zobral's face and pulling him back down for a kiss.

Zobral went back to mauling John's mouth, kissing and biting his way down to John's neck, hands pushing the shirt back up as his mouth moved to a nipple, biting, sucking hard and making John gasp soundlessly as his head lifted off the cushions.

John landed back on the cushions with a smile and closed his eyes as Zobral's teeth continued to explore down his ribs. He kissed a trail down John's stomach, his tongue doing obscene dances across John's skin.

A pinch to his thigh made him open his eyes and look at a grinning Zobral who sat up to straddle his hips. John watched, as Zobral took off his own shirt to reveal quite the impressive physique. John stared at the sculpted body and wondered why he was just lying back and not the one jumping Zobral's bones. He had some pretty nice bones, that Zobral.

Zobral gave John a sultry eyed leer. "You will enjoy this."

John nodded. There wasn't much he didn't enjoy.

Zobral was now working on the button of John's waistband and just the bumping of his hand was like torture. He told himself he wouldn't enjoy this because Rodney was in a box and that was bad. But that Zobral, he had extremely warm and naughty hands. No one could fight that.

John lay back against the cushions, his arm going to lie across his eyes. He took a handful of the blanket they were lying on, his breath becoming a little shorter as Zobral pulled down the zipper of his pants and then pulled the garment down a few inches. Zobral's hands went to the waistband of John's boxers, pulling them down only a fraction before John suddenly sat up with a groan.

Zobral was frowning up at John. "You look perhaps a little green."

John pushed Zobral aside and bolted for the opening of the tent, one hand over his mouth and the other pulling up his pants.

He threw up just outside, his stomach clenching and forcing everything up, aided by a head that wouldn't stop spinning.

"I told you not to drink too fast," Zobral called from inside.

John continued to vomit.

## 

*

Guard Heinan stroked the smooth grain of the wooden box, his mouth hovering by the dark slot.

"Zobral could take all day. Two days even. Surely, you do not wish to spend all that time in a wooden box. I could help you. If you help me," Heinan whispered.

A pale finger poked through the slot and pointed left. "I told you before, Teyla, is in the next box and I wouldn't bother asking her because she'd probably rather disembowel herself."

Heinan grinned. "I am aware of whom I am speaking with."

The finger disappeared back into the box twice as quick.

## 

*

John was lying with a cool, wet cloth over his face as Zobral lay next to him, a dish of various shaped chocolates in front of him. Zobral ate another, making positively pornographic sounds of pleasure. He pulled away the cloth from John's face and offered a piece.

John closed his eyes and gulped, his stomach turning and his brain settling back into place, much heavier and way more sore than it had been before entering Zobral's tent.

"Such a disappointment for a man," Zobral lamented, popping another piece of chocolate into his mouth. "Usually, the wine and the zhaka make this a very pleasurable experience. You have confounded me."

John sighed. "It's not you. It's me."

Zobral snorted. "Please, I am usually saying that line to many admirers."

"It's not a line. Well, this time. I just, had a little problem back there... with this."

Zobral gave John a confused frown that slowly eased. "Oh. Well... I am sure it happens to everyone."

John scowled at the stupid pleated ceiling. "Not to me, it doesn't."

"Do you wish to discuss this?" Zobral asked, looking as awkward as John felt.

"No," John said, looking offended.

Zobral gave a sigh of relief and began to sit up. "Thank Hovah."

"Actually, I might have done something very bad," John said flatly.

Zobral sighed and resumed his previous position. "From your hair, I believe it to be true of you." Zobral gave John's hair a cautious poke.

John looked up at Zobral, leaning in to whisper. "See, I kissed someone. Then, they kissed me back, only I didn't expect it and when it happened, I kind of got freaked out and ran off."

Zobral looked unimpressed. "You kissed someone and run away?"

John sank into thought. "Well, it was more like walking very fast."

"We have a name for men like you," Zobral said, indecently sucking on a piece of chocolate.

"Is it a nice name?" John hoped as he watched Zobral lick one of his fingers.

"Kolika, "Zobral said. "It means pretty man whore."

John nodded. "You think I'm pretty?"

Zobral gave a leering bright smile. "Very. Even if you _are_ filled with this dirty guilt of what you have done."

"Yeah," John said slowly. "I wouldn't say dirty. Maybe a little murky."

"So you run away, it is no big problem. Go back and say you are sorry. There has been no harm done," Zobral said with a shrug, popping another piece of chocolate into his mouth.

"Actually, I kind of got involved with someone else," John mumbled with a grimace.

Zobral arched an eyebrow in John's direction. "First you kiss and run and then you go to someone else? Where was this first unfortunate?"

John rolled his eyes. "Oh, he was nearby, bitching about it the whole time."

Zobral shook his head in dismay. "Kolika, if you stay in my bed, you will surely curse it."

"Hey, who you calling Kolika? You're no Mother Theresa yourself."

"Come, you and your friends are free to go," Zobral said getting up and pulling John up with him.

John tried not to groan as the room tilted. "What about the ZPM?"

"If it is valuable to you, it may be valuable to other traders. I cannot say I was ever going to give it to you," Zobral said with a grin as he threw John's jacket at him.

The jacket hit John's chest and fell on the floor, next to his P90, as he stared ahead. John slowly bent down to pick both up, his stomach flipping as he did. "You know, where I come from, we have a name for guys like you too."

Zobral laughed. "It is John Sheppard. Yes?"

John pointed his P90 at Zobral and sighed. "Date's over. I think it's time you drove me home."

## 

*

From where Rodney sat, Elizabeth's face looked red, though it could have been the lights. She was standing, arms folded, as she looked at the four people seated before her in the briefing room. John looked terrible, his face pale and his hair... well, he looked pale and more crumpled than usual. Rodney, Ford and Teyla all had dirty smudges on their faces and clothes, both men looking annoyed and subdued, Teyla looking her usual calm self.

"Let me get this straight. You three were put into boxes because you trespassed on holy land and were caught _finding_ a ZPM and you, Major, were taken away to negotiate their release."

"That's pretty much what happened," John said tiredly.

"And what happened at these negotiations, exactly?" Elizabeth said, John's disheveled state clearly not escaping her attention.

John looked up at Elizabeth and smiled, though his annoyance was clear. "Well, he said he'd let us all go and give us the ZPM if I had sex with him."

Elizabeth looked a little stunned. "And... what did you say?"

"I told him I wasn't the kind of girl that puts out on a first date," John said dryly, looking away as Ford laughed quietly.

Elizabeth gave Ford a stern glance and he stopped laughing. "Exactly what were you planning to do with the ZPM had the villagers not shown up?"

Rodney sighed, his body still feeling the cramps from sitting crouched in the small box. "Elizabeth, they didn't even know the ZPM was there."

"Remember what happened the last time you thought that was a good enough reason to remove a ZPM from another planet?" Elizabeth asked sharply.

Elizabeth turned back to John who was rubbing the corner of his eye. "How did this Zobral let you all go anyway?"

John looked up wearily at Elizabeth. "I explained my point of view to him. With my P90."

Elizabeth turned to Ford just in time to see the silly smirk appear and disappear. "Major, you don't look too well, I'll let Carson know you're on your way. I suggest you all get some rest. We'll continue this conversation at tomorrow morning's briefing."

Everyone noticed John's jaw clenching as Elizabeth turned and left the room. They all slowly got up and made their own way out, Teyla leaving first as Ford and John walked out alongside each other, Rodney tiredly making his way behind them.

"Is that what really happened with Zobral?" Ford was asking as Rodney looked at a splinter caught in his finger, trying to push it out with his thumb.

"Pretty much. I guess the guy thought he had a shot," John said.

Ford laughed. "Better you than me, Sir. I don't know what I'd do."

Rodney flinched, as the splinter seemed to have gone in deeper instead of being pushed out.

"Just say no, Ford. Just say no," John said with a pat on Ford's shoulder.

"You mean, hell no, Sir," Ford said.

Rodney curled his fingers into a fist, the splinter in too deep and throbbing painfully. Ford had stopped walking and was turning around.

"Dr. McKay, listen, about earlier. It's nothing personal, I just weird out in closed spaces, you know?"

Rodney shrugged, glancing over at John's unreadable face for a second. "No problem. I guess we all weird out in closed spaces."

## 

*

When John walked into Rodney's lab, Rodney didn't seem particularly busy. In fact, he was sitting in front of his laptop and staring off into space, while absently scratching the light stubble on his chin.

"What's on your mind?" John asked as he leaned against the worktop, casting an eye over the various scattered pieces of equipment.

Rodney wasn't startled, but he was staring at John like he had no idea what was going on. "What?"

"You looked like you're in deep thought."

"Oh." Rodney gave a nod. "No. Not really. It's nothing. Actually, just wondering about the weird situations you could get into if your hand kept sucking the life out of people. I mean, shaking hands would be out of the question."

John nodded absently. "I don't think the Wraith shake hands anyway."

"Maybe it's a left-handed shake," Rodney pondered. "What are you doing here?"

John briefly glanced at Rodney, before looking back at the gadgets on Rodney's worktop. "About earlier, when Ford and I were-"

"Doing the homophobic soldier boy act?"

John closed his eyes for a moment, his face beginning to warm. "Yeah. That."

Rodney frowned. "You don't have to excuse yourself. I told you before. I understand. I'm not stupid."

"I know," John said with unexpected frustration. "Ford, he's a good kid, you know? That was just marine talk. I'm sure he didn't-"

"Mean it?" Rodney asked, watching John closely. "Maybe."

"It's just words," John said quietly. "The way things are. You do what you have to, to fit in. You say things."

"Why do it at all?" Rodney asked.

John gave Rodney an even look. "Is it so hard to believe that I love my job?"

Rodney took a long look at John Sheppard and shook his head. "No. It's probably the only thing that makes sense about you."

"Not everything has to make sense, Rodney."

"No, but you don't stop trying to understand, do you?"

John nodded slowly, staring at Rodney. It seemed forever since they had dared look at each other like this. Everything out in the open.

"No," John murmured. "You don't."

John ran his fingers through his hair, working up the nerve to say something, but the courage alluding him. So he just stood there, scratching his head.

"You okay? You don't look okay," Rodney said.

John scowled. "Yeah. Zobral got me hammered. Or stoned. Or both."

Rodney smiled. "And you still didn't put out?"

John shrugged, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Oh, by the way, here," John said, pulling out something from his pocket and depositing it on the worktop.

Rodney frowned at the small wad of scrunched up paper before looking at John. John pushed his chin out towards the package, urging Rodney to open it. Rodney unwrapped it slowly and picked out the hidden cube with a smile of amusement. He held it up and laughed. "Are you serious?"

John raised both eyebrows. "I've never been so serious in my life."

Rodney sniffed at the cube of chocolate for good measure. "Where did you get it?"

"Zobral said he's got a ton of the stuff," John said with a shrug. "Go ahead, taste it. It's good."

Rodney took another look at the piece and then popped it into his mouth, his brow going up in surprise. He nodded. "Um, this is, _very_ good, but let me get this straight. He didn't sleep with you _and_ he gave you chocolate? How did we suddenly end up in Bizarro world?"

"Actually, he called me a pretty man whore and kicked me out of bed," John said with a small smile.

Rodney was staring at John, an odd flicker of light in his eyes. "Huh. What an idiot."

John stared back wordlessly, his currently sensitive stomach lurching again. Rodney looked away, disappointment hovering over his smile.

"You should probably go," Rodney said casually, fingers going to his keyboard. "Sleep off whatever the hell Zobral gave you."

John nodded mutely, ignoring the urge to smack Rodney's laptop shut and pull him up for a kiss, tasting how sweet his mouth would be right now. Even if Rodney pushed him away, it would be worth it.

John stepped towards where the other man was seated, not without a certain feeling of terror. He was going to reach for Rodney, pull him up and kiss him and then give him ample opportunity to knock him on his ass.

As he neared, Rodney suddenly got up and then stumbled back a bit, realizing that John had moved in closer.

Rodney stared at John, wide-eyed and a little stunned. "What?" the question was soft.

John swallowed and shook his head. "Nothing."

"You okay?"

John nodded, licking his lips, his mouth feeling dry. "I should go before my head drops off. See you later," John mumbled, walking off slowly, feeling Rodney's eyes on the back of his head. His feet seemed reluctant to move though, slowing down as he neared the doorway, his hand absently scratching the back of his head.

John stopped by the doors, looking out into the corridor, which was easier than looking at Rodney somehow.

"You know, I was sorry you were so angry, because it made me feel bad and I didn't really like it," John said slowly, his voice suddenly the only sound in the lab. "But, then I thought about it, that night, how I started the whole thing, you putting yourself out there and me leaving like that?" John turned and awkwardly met Rodney's gaze. "Must have hurt."

Rodney gave a small nod. "A little. Felt stupid mostly, actually."

John scowled, shaking his head. "That's not what I wanted. I'm sorry I made you feel bad, Rodney. Real sorry."

John turned around and left the lab, pretty sure that Rodney was staring with the same look he had that night.

## 

*

Rodney was laughing, only, it was more of a high-pitched giggle and it had John frowning in surprise and then laughing too.

Rodney pushed his glass across the table and John scowled drunkenly at it. "I think, possibly, maybe, we've had enough."

Rodney laughed, looking utterly confused. "Either my ears are slowing down or you're talking very close to a black hole."

John tilted his head to the side, curiosity piqued. "What's that like? Being inside a black hole?"

Rodney was grinning, giggling to himself. "Human spaghetti."

John frowned. "Huh?"

Rodney put his fists together and then pulled them apart, spreading his arms out like wings. "Let's just say, you'd end being a lot taller than you are. For a little while anyway, not that there's any such thing as a little while, you see. It's all relative," Rodney said waving his hand.

"Did you just call me short?" John asked with an unfocused frown.

Rodney frowned back. "What?"

"So, what's the difference between a black hole and a wormhole," John asked.

Rodney was looking at the wall, frowning. John stared at the same spot to see whatever it was that Rodney could see up there. Just wall. He stared harder. Still wall.

"What are you looking at?" John asked.

Rodney turned to him, frown intact. "What?"

"What do you see there?" John nodded towards the wall.

Rodney shrugged. "I dunno. Nothing, everything. Questions. Answers."

John stared, confused. "Huh. That's funny, because my teachers always used to say, 'you won't find the answers staring at the wall, John'," John said with a reprimanding poke of the finger.

Rodney nodded in agreement. "That's what mine used to say. Of course, they were wrong. The answers are everywhere you look."

John looked at Rodney, the drink wearing off when he looked too long. Yep, John thought, Rodney was becoming less and less of a question mark and more of a certainty. It was a terribly sobering thought.

"You didn't tell me," John said quietly. "The difference between a black hole and a wormhole."

Rodney turned to look at John. "Uh, well, wormholes are made of worms and black holes are made of... black."

John stared at Rodney who was smiling inanely. John shook his head and laughed. "I think it's officially time I left."

Rodney sighed and nodded, offering up a sloppy salute to John, who simply smiled and got up, his legs furiously disagreeing with the direction he was taking.

John turned around at the door to see Rodney right behind him, dazed and softened by drink. John gave him a lazy, two-fingered salute. "This was fun. We should get wasted more often."

Rodney didn't answer. He was too busy staring in fascination at something above John's head. John looked up to see what it was, but only found ceiling. When he looked back, Rodney was still entranced. He was standing there, hands by his side, mouth slightly open and eyes wide.

Before he even knew he'd taken the step, John was pressing his lips to Rodney's. His teeth slowly moved to Rodney's bottom lip, staying for a moment before his lips took hold and then pulled away.

John straightened up, as Rodney stared. "Sorry. I shouldn't have done that," he said, trying not to slur the words.

Rodney stepped forward and put his hand on John's chest, tilting his head to the side and reaching up for the sweetest kiss. John found his hand covering Rodney's, holding on as Rodney's tongue found his, their lips gliding against each other's as they forgot to breathe.

John let go of Rodney's hand and gently pushed him back, a knot forming in his stomach and sobering him up faster than an ice cold shower. Rodney was watching him, his face strangely broken.

John shook his head. "I can't do this," he mumbled. "Sorry."

Then he turned around and left.

## 

*

Rodney walked out onto the balcony, finding John with hands in pockets and standing by the edge and looking out into the city.

Shoving his hands into his pockets he went to stand by the other man's side, sharing the view of Atlantis under a star filled sky.

"Major Sheppard at Inspiration Point alone. Are you sick?"

John's mouth twitched, showing a glimmer of a smile. "Give it a rest, McKay."

"Nice spot," Rodney added after a moment of silence. "You know, I hear people are thinking of renaming it Sheppard's Point in honor of you."

"Rodney," John warned.

McKay smiled to himself. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing."

"Thinking."

"Oh. Well, don't panic. I hear it can hurt the first time, for some people."

John sighed and turned to look at Rodney. "Knock it off."

Rodney held his hands up in surrender. "So, what are you thinking about?"

"Elizabeth," John said, back to watching the city.

"Could you be less cryptic?"

John turned around and leaned against the balcony railing, arms folding across chest. "Can't get my head around it. Ten thousand years dying slowly to make sure another version of yourself survives. It's so..."

"Screwed up?" Rodney offered when John struggled to find the words.

"Yeah," John said slowly. "Screwed up."

Rodney nodded in agreement, but smiled in wonder. "Yes, but it's amazing. One of us being the reason for own survival." He sighed and shook his head. "I tell you, people look for miracles in the wrong place."

John was watching Rodney closely and when Rodney realized, his gaze didn't shy away. "What?"

"Those poor bastards didn't even get a chance," John said.

"A chance to do what?" Rodney asked.

John shrugged. "Anything. You think we ever got past hello?"

A small smile tugged at the corner of Rodney's mouth. "I'm sure there are an infinite number of alternate realities where we got way past hello."

"Alternate realities?" John asked with a frown.

Rodney nodded. "Realities on parallel to our own, built on the choices we never made, or did make for that matter."

John gave a slow nod. "Realities where we made different choices?"

"Something like that."

"So, somewhere out there, I got heads instead of tails and stayed on Earth," John said thoughtfully.

Rodney stared. "That's how you decided to come here? A coin toss?"

John shrugged, like it was no big deal. "Sure."

"Just like that? You tossed a coin and decided you were coming?"

"No. Actually, it was best out of three."

Rodney just stared, dumbstruck. Who the hell made huge choices on a coin toss?

"The wrong side of the coin, that was the only thing holding you back?"

"Well, maybe it wasn't that simple," John said with a shrug. "Hey, you think maybe in one of those realities I didn't make a complete ass of myself and stayed the night?"

Rodney smiled, shaking his head. "Probably. Want to tell me why you didn't stay in this one?"

John was smiling, clearly amused. He rolled his eyes and turned around to lean against the railing, looking down into the city and mumbling, "So, complicated."

Rodney joined John at his side, leaning on the railing and looking across. "Because?" he asked quietly.

John looked at Rodney and shrugged. "I dunno."

"You're a very strange man." Rodney scowled. "So, what's it like to have sex with an ascended being?"

John frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Scientific curiosity. Was it good?"

John looked amused. "A girlfriend of mine asked me that once and my answer got me into a whole lot of trouble."

"So, not good?"

"No, I never said that."

"So, it _was_ good."

"I dunno, maybe. It was weird."

"Define weird."

"You don't know what weird means?"

"Tentacles weird or kinky weird?"

"What? Somewhere in between. I think we should change the subject."

Rodney held back a smile as John returned to staring into the depths of the city.

"Kind of like having an orgasm on a roller coaster," John said slowly.

Rodney narrowed his eyes and turned to see John, a small smile on his face. "Poor you."

"Couldn't feel my bones for days."

"I think I get the picture."

"I couldn't feel _anything_ for days," John said with a nod.

"O-kay, thank you, shameless boasting part of conversation over now," Rodney said tersely.

John just grinned.

John turned around and gave the doors a glance and then slowly slid along the railing until he was right next to Rodney. Rodney watched calmly as John tilted his head, giving Rodney a tempting view of neck. John moved forward slightly and offered up a gentle kiss.

"Know why you're complicated?" John whispered almost over Rodney's lips.

Rodney shook his head, looking down at the lips that were only an inch from his. "No, why?"

John gave a small smile. "I don't think I could walk away from you. Freaked the hell out of me."

"And now?"

"Not so much," was the quiet reply.

John pulled away, straightening up and giving Rodney a small pleased smile before heading for the doors.

Rodney watched as the doors closed, standing there with his hands hanging by his sides.

"What? What the hell was that?"

## 

*

Rodney was up to something, John was pretty certain of it. The scientist always seemed to turn up wherever John was. He always seemed to stand too close, talk too close or... smell nice too close. John put it down to his own wishful thinking, his hope that Rodney could let things go. Of course, then Rodney always turned up and did things. Like breathe. Too close.

John was prodding his tasteless breakfast when Elizabeth took a seat opposite him and Rodney sat down at his side. _Right_ at his side.

Elizabeth took a sip of coffee and smiled. "I can't say I'm not glad you've both sorted your differences out. I'm not sure I wanted to make Rodney-rules football an annual event. It's good things are back to normal."

"I'm not sure the word normal was ever applicable to the Major," Rodney said as he tucked into his breakfast.

"Take a breath, McKay, I wouldn't want you to choke on your eggs," John said with a smirk.

Rodney frowned at his food. "These are eggs?"

Rodney went into a litany of grievances that started with eggs and cheese not supposed to taste the same, not that John listened. He was too busy trying to casually drink his coffee, even though Rodney's thigh was pressed hard against his. They were virtually joined at the hip and John felt a flush rising to his face because all he could think of was naked, heated thighs. When he finally choked on his coffee, he didn't fail to notice the mischievous grin on Rodney's face.

## 

*

Rodney had to be up to something, John was pretty certain of it. Maybe the big revenge had arrived and it consisted of making John crazy. But then, these days, Rodney just had to be Rodney for John's pants to start feeling restrictive.

Maybe it was wishful thinking.

But what about earlier that day, when they had been exploring a dark corridor of Atlantis? John was shining the torch of his P90 into a dark, empty, musty smelling room and suddenly there was Rodney, right behind him. He could feel Rodney's shoulder against his back, and then his chest as he leaned against John to look over his shoulder and into the room.

John had taken a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly, smelling shampoo, maybe soap, maybe coffee. Opening his eyes he had found that the grasp on his P90 had tightened.

Even now, as he lay in bed, staring at the wall, John could feel Rodney behind him, whispering in his ear, "We should take a look."

Though it was one of the most inocuous of suggestions, the low whisper had stayed with him throughout the day, floating like a feather from his ear to his chest and then landing in the pit of his stomach.

John frowned irritably and closed his eyes, folding his arms against his chest, buffering himself against Rodney's stupid whispering.

His doors opened and almost instantly he heard the voice he was tryng to ignore. "You're awake, good, we need to talk."

John turned away from the wall and sat up as he looked at the slightly annoyed and pent up man, amused that Rodney hadn't bothered checking to see if John was asleep.

"Hey, what's wro-"

"Just shut up and listen," Rodney said irritably, holding a hand up for John to quiet down.

John shrugged. "Okay..."

"Grudges," Rodney said, suddenly looking quite deflated. "I can't help but carry grudges for very long periods of time and I think it has less to do with cognitive capacity or selective memory and maybe more to do with the pot luck of genetic inheritance. I mean it makes sense really, with the whole survival of the fittest. Some of us are just crap filters for the gene pool and the rest get to look like SG-1. I mean, my grandfather was the same. He carried about a million grudges into the grave. He never forgave me for burning his green tie - it was a present from my grandmother. I actually did him a favor. I might have been eight, but I knew he looked like an idiot. Can't believe how long he was angry about that stupid tie."

John stared, slightly confused as Rodney's rant died away into a miserable expression. "Rodney, what the hell are you talking about?"

Rodney sighed. "I'm not sure. I had a point when I started, but it kind of got lost in the anecdote."

"You carry grudges," John said with a smile.

Rodney nodded. "Right. Yes, I do. Well, I was very angry, as you may recall. Maybe for too long, even, or not as the case may be. I mean, one minute there you are, pretty man whore, putting the moves on me and the next minute someone's put my heart in a garlic crusher. You ever seen one of those? The way they just smush everything up?"

John gave a nod. "Yeah, I know."

"Anyway, I was angry, but you just kept showing up and apologizing, like it was a really big deal. I kind of liked that," Rodney said with a small, embarrassed smile. "Of course, then I stopped being angry and you stopped coming back. I'm sorry, but, what the hell is that?"

John gave Rodney an even look. "You know, it would be nice if you could've let me know about the not being angry at me anymore thing."

Rodney made a face that suggested John was being foolish. "I thought that much was implied by my constant attempts at discreet groping in public places."

"Hey, that _was_ you that pinched my ass this morning. I thought I was imagining things."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes, that was me, you're not crazy, let's move on please," Rodney said impatiently. "So, what happens now?"

"Now?" John asked.

"Yes. Now. Now that I've forgiven you. Did you hear that by the way? I forgave you. I, Rodney McKay, forgave _you_, John Sheppard. You know, for the big hurt."

John smiled. "And I appreciate that very much, Rodney."

"Well, good. You should. I don't bury hatchets just for anyone. Now, I'll be going back to my quarters and I'll let you have a little think about this whole forgiving and not really forgetting as much as not thinking about it too much business."

"That's an interesting definition you have of burying the hatchet," John said dryly, watching Rodney head to the doors.

"I'm a complicated man," Rodney replied. "So, think about it. I forgave you."

"I will. Thank you. Anything else?"

Rodney turned back from the door. "Yes. I'd like you to show me that trick with the cherry stem," Rodney said thoughtfully. "It's uh, it's piqued my interest."

## 

*

Rodney frowned at the small triangular gadget in his hand, the red crystal flat and dead. Obviously it needed more than ATA gene therapy to work. Maybe it needed batteries. Rodney put it down on the table with a sigh, just as the doors to his quarters opened.

John walked in nonchalantly and fell back against the wall as the doors closed. He leaned there as Rodney watched him, hair rumpled, T-shirt rumpled, pants hanging low... and rumpled, watch on one wrist, black wristband on the other.

"Any specific reason for your visit?" Rodney asked quietly.

John nodded slowly and reached into his pocket, bringing out a closed fist.

Rodney watched as John slowly walked towards him, an unreadable expression on his face. Stopping in front of Rodney, he held his fist out. Slowly, his hand opened and revealed a small, chocolate covered cherry.

Rodney smiled. "Ah."

John picked up the cherry by its stem and held it in front of Rodney's mouth, his eyes looking hungry and dark.

Stomach tying into knots and his heart hammering, Rodney opened his mouth and accepted the offering, his lips touching John's fingers where stem met cherry and his eyes closing involuntarily for a moment as the chocolate touched his tongue. As Rodney's mouth closed around the cherry, John gave a tug, pulling the stem away.

He smiled as he held up the stem in front of his eyes and then looked at Rodney. John put the stem in his mouth, holding it between his teeth, before his tongue briefly came out and then disappeared back in with the stem.

John held out his hands and Rodney gave them a long look before taking a hold of them in his own. John pulled him from his chair so they stood face to face, a mischievous smirk on his face.

Rodney could see John's eyes lowering, staring at Rodney's mouth, his own mouth clamped shut, making the minutest of movements. John closed in slowly and Rodney tilted his head to accept the nearing kiss as John's mouth parted ever so slightly.

Suddenly Rodney felt a prod of something against his lips. He opened his eyes and pulled back to see a knotted stem between John's grinning teeth. Rodney felt his breath quicken as he stared.

"Oh, that's... that's impressive."

John spat out the stem and it flew across the room. "Want another one?"

"Depends on what you're going to do with it," Rodney said, his face warming.

John's hand went to his pocket, coming away with another cherry. He held it up between them and frowned almost comically. "Hmm, what can I do with this that would impress Dr. McKay?"

"I think I can think of a few things right now," Rodney mumbled, noticing how his body was beginning to object to being clothed.

"I bet you can," John drawled before before taking half of the cherry in his mouth and pulling away the stem, throwing it aside.

Rodney wondered if someone could pass out from feeling too happy as he moved towards John's mouth. Their lips met and there was a breaking of chocolate skin and a small burst of sweet juice, covering their tongues. Rodney sighed with satisfaction as John's arms slowly snaked around his waist, their tongues pushing the cherry pit from one to another as they sucked away the remnants of the fruit and chocolate.

John suddenly let go and turned away from Rodney.

Rodney stared, stunned. "I can't believe this. What the hell's wrong with you? One hint of something having the potential of being more than casual and you turn into an idiot?"

John turned back around, as he began to cough hard.

Rodney stood still for a moment, only just comprehending what was happening. "Oh, good. I thought you were freaking out again."

John continued to cough, holding up a hand for Rodney to be silent.

"Huh," Rodney said with realization. "I was wondering where that pit went."

John rolled his eyes, his face turning red as he coughed. He gave forceful cough and suddenly a small projectile flew from John's mouth, skimming past Rodney's ear and landing on his laptop.

Rodney looked back at the spit-covered pit with a grimace and then turned back to John, who was trying to recover his composure. "You know, you almost got me in the eye there."

John looked at Rodney, his expression a little sheepish. "That was supposed to be very sexy."

"Oh it was," Rodney said with a nod of affirmation. "You know, right until you started to choke."

John stared at the pit with a scowl. "So much for seduction."

"Well, you could always try again."

John nodded and shrugged, his hand going to his pocket. Rodney went to John and grabbed his hand.

"No, I mean without the choking apparatus," Rodney said with a smile.

John closed his eyes and sighed with obvious relief. "Thank you, because I really didn't want to do that again."

Rodney didn't wait for John's relief to pass and swiftly moved forward and lay a kiss on John's mouth. John jerked away in surprise, but then opened right up, tasting of cherries and chocolate. Rodney moaned, relishing the taste of John's mouth as an arm wrapped around his neck and another held the front of his shirt.

He only realized they they had moved across the room when John's body hit the wall with a thump, bouncing away slightly and back into Rodney.

He broke from John's mouth long enough to take a look at the other man and smile in secret triumph before letting his mouth be plundered by John's eager and hungry kisses. John hung on, clinging closely as Rodney fumbled for contact with skin, his hands pulling free the parts of John's shirt that were still tucked into his pants. He felt John's mouth smile against his as Rodney slipped a hand under the loose waistband of John's pants, finding the curve of warm muscle.

He moved in closer, grinding his body against John's, both men evidently aroused. Rodney's mouth opened as he gasped against John's lips, his own moving across to the other man's cheek and then pulling on John's earlobe.

His face was rudely pulled back for another kiss as John pushed away from the wall and half-stumbled forward in an attempt to guide Rodney to the bed. Before John had the chance to push him down on the bed, Rodney abruptly turned him around, letting him fall back.

John grinned with a pleased look and pulled Rodney on top. He landed hard, eliciting a grunt of discomfort from John.

John frowned, looking a little worried.

"What?" Rodney asked, suddenly having visions of John jumping up and running off.

John was looking down between them. "I think you squashed my cherries."

"Oh, you mean your - right, of course. Well, we could try again later," Rodney said, extremely disappointed.

John frowned. "No, I mean these," he said pulling out a handful of chocolate covered, squashed cherries from his pocket.

Rodney looked at John's hand and laughed with relief. "Oh, thank god for that," he said as he descended for another kiss, the cherries falling from John's hand and lying forgotten.

Until later.

**\- the end -**


End file.
